I don't know about you but I don't like to sugar coat things. Even though I tend to wish for an idealistic life as a perfectionist, I know that life just isn't what we want it to be. I have been watching the world fall apart and have taken note of how so many families are struggling. This makes me want to stand up and do something. I know that I cannot change the world in a split second, so I decided to look at this issue a little deeper. The relationship that I have the most influence over is my own with my husband. In this I have full reign in attempting to put out the flames of destruction. In evaluating this part of my life I came up with one very valuable lesson. If you want to have a good relationship, you need to stop blaming the other person for all the issues. I have noticed myself doing a lot of pointing. My emotions flare of up every so often and I blame it on hormones or Chris. Things become toxic and stressful. I always seem to fail in my attempts and apologize one too many times. So what needs to be done?
One thing that I started to do in my prayer journal is write down a request to God. I know that in and of myself I cannot be a better wife. I need my attitude to change. I cannot do it alone. So I started asking God to protect my home and marriage. I don't think that we realize how strong the devil attacks us. By writing "protect our home" I was making it plain that the devil was real and not just an idea. I wanted extra protection so that when I was in a state of vulnerability, it was God that was there to step in and change my attitude and not the devil.
Since starting this, I have seen my attitude greatly change. Though things aren't perfect, our home is a much more pleasant place. Chris doesn't have to experience more stress when he comes home from a day of work issues. I don't assume the worst and blame everything on him either. It is a lot easier to recognize when I am acting out in my own selfish nature and be able to ask God for help in removing that behavior.
Sometimes we think that being a Christian is so outside of ourselves. Like it is something that we do in a soup kitchen or at church. It is a lifestyle and it starts with your family and home. The way we live is how others will see us and trust us with what we have to share. I can't tell you how valuable it has been for me to discover that God is what makes this home safe. He is the one that reveals to me my bad attitude. You have no idea how many times I have asked for His forgiveness or how many times He has granted it and made me new. Sometimes I don't even notice the change coming over me till I look back and say to Chris, "Things have been pretty awesome lately, huh?"